Can your life be blessed and broken at the same time? I am living proof that it can be, but also that a broken life is really no life at all. I am a church girl and former Mouseketeer, known for singing big and landing on my feet. However, I turned out to be no match for the negativity I secretly battled for most of my life. People rarely caught me falling apart every time life hit me. I would scoop up the jigsaw pieces of my spirit and force them back into where I thought they should fit, only to fall apart over and over again. How does someone like me slip through the cracks of life’s advantages and choose a broken life? Well here’s how I did it:
# 1: I worked alone. Though my church training told me that prayer was the answer, I was afraid God would take too long to fix me. I thought the easier fix was to be my own fixer, which is as effective as deciding to be your own surgeon!
# 2: I used the wrong glue. Anger motivated me to show the leavers, the liars, and the laudable that I was doing fine when I really wasn’t. I cut ties first before I could be rejected. I held people at arms’ length. It was never my fault when my accomplishments appeared “less than”. Anger is a messy, unreliable glue that dries far too slowly to get you back on your feet in time for the next round of life!
# 3: I focused outside-in. I tried to polish up the surface of my life, but my brokenness stemmed from deeper cracks within my heart, soul, and mind. The quick fix wasn’t buying me much time, and I knew I couldn’t survive forever on mere make-up and Band-Aids.
The day finally came when I realized that I was living more of a slow death than an actual life, and I didn’t want to exist that way for one more moment. I got on my knees:
# 1: I fired myself as fixer
# 2: I tossed my angry adhesive
# 3: I rededicated my inside-out back to Christ.
I surrendered to God my anger, bitterness, jealousy, and shame…every piece of my brokenness. I chose to never make choices without God again.
I now live an Unbreakable Life because I want God to be in the center of everything I think, feel, and do. Though an Unbreakable Life is not exempt from imperfection and pain, I don’t fall apart like I used to when life hits me. God has put my pieces back together, from the inside-out, in the way that only He can. I’m not ashamed of the cracks of my past because I can now be proud of the scars they have become, which are proof of healing and reminders of what God has brought me through. On my own, all I could muster was an occasional revamp, but God fully restores!
Life comes with cracks, but we choose what to do with them. Do we force a broken life of falling apart or do we surrender to an Unbreakable Life of God’s healing?
“Therefore, since we have been made righteous through his faithfulness, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. We have access by faith into this grace in which we stand through him, and we boast in the hope of God’s glory. But not only that! We even take pride in our problems, because we know that trouble produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. This hope doesn’t put us to shame, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:1-5 CEB)